“That’s when I grow up, then I will become, and I will be, and you will know everything…!” at this moment, the chin rises up, the shoulders straighten, and Caesar or Cleopatra is in front of you! You see a strong, confident person who knows what he wants and is firmly on his feet. For whom to follow, as for him!
And you make a big mistake, forgetting that in fact he is not the One yet, he is still just a child who dreams of becoming someone someday.

This is our imaginary Self – big and grandiose, inflated with the air of our fantasies, taking us far away from reality. And there is a great temptation to believe that I am already more than I am .

We inflate ourselves, create an illusion that we believe in. A big, phantasmagoric world of impressions and people who don’t exist appears on Instagram. And we all envy them who got there, and we try to blow ourselves up so that we can become part of this world of stars. We have the meaning of life and even goals: to have a super body, a super face, a super vacation, a super New Year with a super Christmas tree!

We almost don’t care what happens to our real feelings and real life. We are rushing to get rid of gravity and failures in order to take off into space full of sparkling stars.
We order flowers and a limo for the fourteenth of February and take a couple of successful pictures of not our life. Convincing everyone and fantasizing yourself. But the pain of this dream is that when you achieve it, you discover the absence of joy, of any feeling at all.

Because you are unreal there. And then fall to your real knowledge about yourself. And the flip side of any self-illusion is the depression of self-disappointment. After all, you are not going anywhere from yourself. You know your Self. You won’t be able to cut it off or forget it. It will remain with you as a reminder and longing for who you are.

In this complex story, the tragedy of a collision with a reality in which you are an ordinary person sounds. It is difficult to admit this, because then you will have to live an ordinary human life, solve ordinary problems.

I will write about how to cope with my reality in the following posts.

I thank everyone who responds and writes their comments. You can also ask questions and write about your difficulties and problems that you want me to help you figure out.