Broken attachment.Posted on: 16 января, 2019, by : admin
Relationships are always a therapeutic opportunity through which we can naturally recover. And when we choose a partner, we intuitively find someone who will either exacerbate our trauma or help us heal it.
The trauma of a broken attachment is never easy.
When starting a relationship with a partner who lost confidence in being needed as a child, be prepared to face a constant sense of anxiety from him, and a sense of guilt within yourself. Believe me, it is really very difficult for him or her to be tense and even terrified every minute that the throwing is happening right now.
⁃ Why doesn’t he call? He probably doesn’t need me. He doesn’t say he needs me. He pays attention to everyone, but not to me. I don’t need that kind of relationship. I just need him to be with me.
It is this dialogue that takes place within the person who is experiencing the trauma of a broken attachment. And this is a loop, getting into which you can either accept and serve all the desires of the partner, or step aside. In both cases, the story will not be easy .
In the first, when you accept the blame and take it all on yourself, you briefly drown out the «hungry beast» inside her or him, but fall into an even bigger trap. After all, it will require more and more attention, and the rage from lack of understanding will be stronger and stronger.
In another case, when you leave, you will either be devalued as indifferent and indifferent , or you will be begged to stay and be allowed to be near on any terms. This is an exhausting situation.
This, to some extent, says Roman Polanski in the film «Bitter moon».
A broken attachment sharpens the sadness of parting to a sense of horror of being left behind forever, returning the person who experiences it to a state of childhood, where as a child he experienced despair and fear of abandonment. This is important to understand for both partners, and for those who can not stand parting and those who strive for their borders. The solution is to increase the autonomy of the first, and the patience of the second.